I couldn’t love her.

Not a second went by without

A darkness fogging her eyes,

Sweeping her away to some place

Far, where I had no license to be.

Damn, we could’ve held everything.

I could’ve even been the sun

To make her shadows bearable.

But not today. Not any day, it seems,

I thought.

A whole lot of nothing wrapped together,

But doesn’t that make you something?

If you lack all the things I love,

Does that just make you a vessel

For my forthcoming letdown?

I blamed you for years,

For your darkness blossoming into my skin

Like a tea bag in hot water.

But little did I know, just like

Roaches and bats and rats and the like

Who seek the blackness for comfort,

You were happy all along.

Just not my kind of happy.

I’ve gathered my sorries

In a bouquet of apologies

And dropped it at your feet.

Because darling, it seems as I cannot be

The dimming moon in your charcoal sky.

The Dimming Moon - BM

A life lived
hammocked along her
subtle bouts of laughter,
the precious precursor to
the smell of dawning skin—

Truncated sounds of
small battles for air-
constricting lungs-
thin lips burning red as
biting mixes with
hair tousling,
creating a choppy view
though tiny stalactites
of ombre strands—

I’ve compared her breath
to chapters of older books-
fields of
petal-packed mum and
scarlet poppy
explode from her chest
once I touch her—

there is no word
that mimics the softness
of a woman’s mouth
when she loves you.

Untitled III - BM

brittybum asked:

What's your biggest dream? How many times a day do you think about being somewhere else? Why aren't you doing whatever it is you wish you were doing more of?

These are very good questions, thank you.

I have a lot of dreams, most outrageous and some possible. I do not harp on these kinds of things though because I let myself down if I do. I don’t really have dreams, but more like milestones. I wanted to produce a single and have it for sale on iTunes, and I checked that off. I wanted to be published, and most recently (in the Axe Factory Magazine) I have been able to do so. I want to be able to take care of someone, have a house with a yard with a dog and a fire pit next to a mountain sitting, looking out at my garden with a coffee and book in hand. These are the things I want.

I don’t want to be any where else but now. It sounds silly, but it’s true. I do wish that my girl and I could live in the wilderness and off the land. I go there in my mind a lot.

Oh geez, I wish I was writing more. I was I was traveling more. I wish I was experiencing more. I’ve picked a career that requires a lot of man hours. But I try my best to squeeze in what I can, and that’s all you can do.

I am happy in my own skin, where I am, and where I am to go from here. If I don’t fulfill my dreams/milestones, that’s okay. To live a good wholesome life, without killing anyone, and being able to share that life with someone else, and thusly completing each other’s lives… that’s the dream right there.

Death, Death.

I fucking see you, man.

Hiding behind the blinds
And peaking with your
Hollowed out eyes
And your wretched stench.

You go through my fridge
While I’m working,
Downing my milk which
Leaks out your nonexistent body
Like water from a drenched sponge.

You go through my closet
And wear out my button downs;
Finding my combs you
Drag them across where
Hair would be if, you know,
You had fucking hair.

Death, Death.

You’ve been waiting so long.

As an infant I’d cry out
And with a wisp in front
Of your dark robe you’d motion
With phantom “fingers” over your “mouth”
As if telling me to be quiet.

You’d walk me to school
Without my permission
And with a hiss you’d always say,
“Today is the day,”
With what appeared to be
A grin.

Death, Death.

Cut it out, now.

You’re nothing but a
goddamned tease.

Death’s A Bitch - BM

Sometimes I can’t help but treat her
feet like I am touching the shores of
America for the first time.

Like granules of sand,
light brown and softly brittle,
they fall through my hands;
Against my lips they are
so foreign and new.

Her body is one I’ve seen
from miles away but
could never reach.

There are stories about her.

They say once she is found
you could never leave her.

I’d place a flag between her teeth.
I would walk through
her forests and skies forever.

I would drown if it would mean
I could float, lifelessly,
right back to her.

I May Not Be The First, But God Help Me If I’m Not The Last - BM

I’ve got a girl that makes me pray to God while she pulls the belt from my waist and sinks her teeth into its worn leather-

I’ve got a girl that follows my spine with her bottom lip, whispering to it like a quiet snake charmer-

I’ve got a girl who sleeps in only to dream about the things she wants to do to me once I come home-

I’ve got a girl with a duffle bag filled with nicknames that would make the toughest men blush and wilt-

I’ve got a girl who simultaneously turns me on while making me rethink why life exists outside of the bedroom.

I’ve Got A Girl - BM